There's a talking spider with a web in my

Where did Mr. Spider learn to speak perfect Queen's English? I asked if he went to school and he said yes. That was quite mind blowing, to be blunt. But I could just picture all

the evil popes in European History by snapping my fingers, so I did. The weight of the huge sway of the institution gave me the strange feeling to say something to Mr. Spider.

"I'm sorry Mr.Spider. But, I've always been scared from spiders." I said to him as I rolled up a newspaper. "No Stop! I'm more scared of you than you are of me" he cried. I began

to feel a pang of sympathy for the arachnid. No wait, it wasn't sympathy - it was love. The spider looked at me with eyes as beautiful as the sunset, and I set the newspaper down.

"I shall keep you as a pet!" I declared vehemently. Using the newspaper as a makeshift forklift, I pick up the spider and place it onto the kitchen table. To my dismay,

the spider leapt onto my arm, sinking it's fangs into my skin. However, the fangs were unable to penetrate, and it stumbled backwards, wary and afraid. "Come back!" I yelled.

But he didn't, they never did. So I ended up Gere, exactly where you predicted I would end up tonight. But this was before the gerbil. Cindy and I were through after she sang that

kids are kids and that's all they are. No one seemed to care, for she was begining to sound crazy at some times, being witch and all dressed up in her nightgown at a constant pac

ific look. She was happy of being a kid and she hope it will never end.

As life would have it, she grew from a kid to a nanny and was milked so roughly by the farting dairymaid that her nipples bled. Oh, for the carefree days of her youth. Gone now.