"The name's Dader, Varth Dader, and I will

"The name's Dader, Varth Dader, and I will end you." Spoke the kid down the phone in his lowest voice which was actually as high as

giraffe genitals. "Are you sure you're not Elsa from Frozen," replied the other line. The frustrated kid hung up and cried so much his inner tear-well dried up for the day.

Then the kid got mad.A spark of something evil settled into his dry tearwell,something sinister from a galaxy far far away.He called Krogers. "I am Barth Tater! I will not be denie

d your delightful house brand of snack mix!" The cashier, feeling the malevolence over the phone lines, set aside sixteen bags of the stuff and a sixer of Mountain Dew. "For it

shall never taste the same without Mountain Dew!" she exclaimed nefariously. Billy reached cautiously for the first of sixteen bags, never taking his eyes off of the cashier.

As he reached for bag, the cashier suddenly became brave and decided to speak up. "You know what..." he started to say when Billy silenced him with a crushing headbutt that

made him think of his 9th grade math teacher. What was his name? McKennel or something? God his daughter was ugly & pathetic to boot. Billy grabbed the money from the register

And his getaway vehicle arrived. He became a horsefly and then a seahorse, so the police never arrested him. He lived happily ever after underwater and had a huge family of sea

-sick relatives who had to throw him down the basement stairs every time the police showed up, which was frequently, because seahorses don't know how to stay out of trouble. But he