The headless horseman settled down for the

The headless horseman settled down for the night. His pumpkin head had turned several days back and was stinking up the hotel. It was about time to carve another, but this time

he was going to use one of those kits from Kmart with the funny designs and the mini saws. Perhaps a striking "BOO" or a fiery witch on a broomstick. Whatever he decided, it would

undoubtedly attract more tasty children for the slaughter. Hopefully chubby ones. They cooked up better, the fat layer causing a delicious crispy skin when breaded right. His mouth

itched to swallow child flesh. He had even brought a six pack of Coke Zero to wash them down with. His favorite was eating fast, guzzling, burping and feeling bits bubble up for

a few seconds. No, this time he would cure his curious hunger pangs and chronic stomach upset. His bridge partner Maive knew what to do. Radishes! Radishes would help by

activating the saliva glands. Everyone knew that a little extra saliva would do the trick. He remembered how mom would lick her thumb before rubbing out a smudge of jelly on his

velour loveseat. His mother's saliva was unlike most others. It could almost be considered... magical. Family stories abound of how she had saved

hapless women from marrying her odious son just by expectorating onto their faces. When she said, Not good enough, people thought she meant the women but really she meant her son.

never gave anything his all. He was "not good enough" for anything, though he had the brains. He became a Banker.