"One, two, three, four, five.....no....one,

"One, two, three, four, five.....no....one, two, three, four..... where'd you go? Oh. One, two, three, four, five.... Where is number six, there are supposed to be six."

I struggled as another goose wandered off the set. How was I going to get the 12 days out before the holiday rush? A knock. "The Leaping Lords are on strike." Just great.

and it continued on an on, each one more insistent than the last. "I don't want your darn girl scout cookies!" I hollered, trying to mask my fear. I would not give in to their ruse

but their numbers were swelling. I climbed a nearby tree and peered down at the thousands of girl scouts surrounding me. I felt something hit me. It was a beret. First one then ten

thousand girl scout berets pelted me over and over as I clung to the tree, my body writhing in slow motion as if I was in a Sam Peckinpah film. "Get your hats off me, you damned,

blood-sucking fiends!" I shouted. The girl scouts were undeterred by my pleas. The berets swarmed over my body like a tide of rats as I screamed like I was in a torture chamber.

I ended up in a corner, with a sash wrapped around my body and a beret as a gag. The little monsters had my wallet, and were gleefully liberating it for the girl scouts "cookies".

There was only one thing left to do. I wiggled my arm free and somehow managed to rip a piece of my undies to wave weakly as a sign of surrender while being tied down. They looked

totally confused. I waved again, exasperated. This was meant to work, it was all I could think of. Slowly they turned away from me, clearly not sure what I was about, and left me.