In less than 24 hours after I drank the Kefir

In less than 24 hours after I drank the Kefir with Live & Active Cultures I began to feel a strange and disconcerting activity in my gut. Lactobacillus acidophilus

was what was listed under "Ingredients". I prompty looked it up. But before Google could load the results, my bumbum exploded with gelatinous matter. I got quite a shock and ran to

my proctologist. I stormed into his office, knocking down several "Colon of the Month" photos in the process. "Doc, I can't drive my semi; the following ailments plague my colon:

1. bedbugs, 2. ringworm, 3. hiccups, 4. blood blisters, 5. scabies and 6. swamp foot." My Proctologist stroked his chin and said, "I see." Then he socked me in the gut because

he wanted to see my reaction to extreme pain. "Whaaaaa... uuh.. whaaaa." "I see you have the ideal reactions. Surgery tomorrow," the proctologist snickered. Payment in advance is

to be rendered or you might be in for some interesting back door shenanigans. He was cruel and threatening. Medical professionals should

put a warning sticker on the back of his head and in reverse on his forehead warning what a big, cruel, threatening jerk he was. Medical professionals should also go on strike for

Being unpaid for way too long by the bankrupt state. Their supply of Gsfxsdjpjyl was dwindling faster than they could meet their patients' needs. And there was no bleach left for

cleaning the toilets. All was doomed. The hospital staff had given up, and resorted to inject helium into their bloodstreams, since their was an abundance of the gas. Sadly,

getting high on helium involves floating up into the air. The police came to arrest the druggies, but couldn't catch them due to the high ceilings.