It was a mistake, I knew, to buy the grape

It was a mistake, I knew, to buy the grape soda. It never sat well in my stomach. Also, I won the contest prize in the fourth can, which summoned Beelzebub to my living room.

"Not again." I sighed, as I grabbed the plunger. Satan may be the lord of all evil but even he finds a plunger to the nether regions uncomfortable.

A resounding "Pop" echoed through the underworld. "'m sorry," sighed Beezelbub. It was was hard to be a Ukranian blonde nurse for the Lord of the Flies. "Time for your shots,"

He lined up the glasses in a row and started filling them with cheap tequila. I looked him in the eye and knocked back the first one with a grimace. I could feel a familiar burn.

He looked at me and stated plainly, "They're all for you." I started taking them one by one until the man's twin brother started telling me he'd though I'd had enough. But I hadn't

had enough because the fruit stripe gum's flavor died as soon as I exposed the stick to air, so I needed more gum. And his stingy twin brother was like, "No, you have had

enough gum." "I was asking your brother," I informed him, my tone dripping with shitty attitude. Feeling pissy and restless, I socked him in the eye. Now, at least, I'd be able to

say I'd stood up for myself. He stumbled backwards, probably a little shocked, but he recovered quickly. (That was actually a dumb decision), I thought to myself. I'm only 4'8" and

covered in whipped cream. Of course he's shocked! I could not hold it in, though, and laughed heartily at his awkwardness. Then I pulled out the laser.

I removed his glasses,did a quick lasik surgery and crushed them under my heal. Completely forgetting his humiliation moments before he shed two tears of joy... or was it my laser?