Some say she was crazy, but I just thought

Some say she was crazy, but I just thought she was different from everyone else in our school.

The things she did, the way she cut her hair. It was like some twisted reality. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. This girl was different. She was

a repulican. Her hair was

Typical GOP. Expensive and not too attractive. Well liked by the gals at the country club who thought it fashionable to put water in their vodka . Staggering up t her husband

the lady with all the vodka vomitted. Refilling with a quick swig, she started pouring for all the other country club wives. Except nobody had glasses.

Nor did they have contact lenses. Given that all the wives were inbred and had naturally poor vision, this meant none of them could see their drinks. One lady tried drinking a

pina coloda and ended up drinking a penis colonic. That's what happens when your genes come from somebody with hereditary blindness. If the wives had been bred from proper stock,

they wouldn't have also been his sisters, which would be inacceptable to the Grand Oz, the all knowing Leader of his Cult. So the penis colonic tasted a bit like smegmamite,

but didn't that just make it a delicacy? He collected the leftover scrapings and rang the chef. Tonight he would dine exquisitely - cloth napkins, salad forks, the works.

The kitchen fire killed everyone that night, and burnt down the whole old house. His body was found blackened and charred, sitting at the head of the table, dining exquisitely.