David Letterman's Top 10 Reasons Why Hillary

David Letterman's Top 10 Reasons Why Hillary Clinton Will Win The Presidency: #10: Unlike her male counterparts, she actually grew a pair.

Spam had never looked so obvious before. Hypocrisy was rife in the new world of social media. Something had to be done. And so the first mutated whale panda camel hybrid army was

massing at the gates of the city, demanding gold and booze, while enticing the youth of today by checking out their mixtapes and posting hashtags. Humanity was clearly doomed to

repeating the mistakes of history again. The difference this time was that we were not alone out there. We never were. We just hadn't been paying attention nor were we worth notici

-ng until the day scientists made the discovery that rocked the world. The galaxy opened up to us with this one discovery and it meant that we became noticeable by other lifeforms.

The alien civilisations were fascinated by the product of the scientists' discovery. We began to receive transmissions from across the galaxy. "Give us the Mountain Dew Pop-tarts!"

But, ye, verily, amid the alien request for Mountain Dew Pop-Tarts came a resounding voice from on high. Some would say it was the voice of reason. "You there!" boomed the voice. "

surprised how difficult it is to make the stuff what with global warming & all.." Then one of the crowd yelled back at the voice from on high: "Global warming's a crock!

Instantly, a bolt of lightning surged from cloud nine and walloped the dissenter, turning him into a Trump Zombie, smoke pouring out of his wherever. “Fake News, Fake Science!!!”