"Operator, this is Augusta Dumont. Patch

"Operator, this is Augusta Dumont. Patch me through to Inspector Danvers. What's that? Don't be sorry, just do it. What do you mean he's -- he's what? How? When?" Augusta collapsed

onto her red velvet davenport, worry lines marring her lovely face. Oh the of shame tomorrow's headlines! "Heiress Augusta Dumont Caught with Family Jewels." Only Insp. Danvers cou

ld explain how the jewels went from the display case to Augusta's purse via Augusta's hand without it being her fault. Augusta's disposition to beauty made her worry lines parallel

to the cheap linoleum wood paneling that lined the inside of her trailer home like the skin covering hot chocolate. Augusta needed a win. A big win.

By the way, that "covering" is call a melvin.

Melvin Blacke had patented it. It came in several designs and colours, sold online. He had local artisans make it, so his products met the standards of places like whole foods.

Moreover, it was his broad vision that led him to accomplish something no one could ever thought of.

He had a special way of seeing things. Where others saw adversity, he saw opportunity. Where others fled for fear of destruction, he pressed forward with a hunger for glory.

He glanced at the mystery meatloaf and knew it was time. His unbridled hunger for glory had always stood the test of time, and he was never one to turn away from a challenge.

Boldly he bit and chewed the rubbery substance and only once did he gag as it caught in his gullet. Then he lay down, arms crossed over his chest, and greeted death victoriously.