The hairy neon orange monster, that lived

The hairy neon orange monster, that lived in my closet as a kid has returned. He wasn't the same now, instead of reading me parts of "The American Who Taught the Japanese" He now

spends his days dressing as a suspender-wearing penguin who quotes Crocodile Dundee movie lines all day. He also enjoy enjoys the occasional scotch mixed with

tabasco sauce. Some say he was the most interesting man. I said he was a boorish penguin-imitating, Dundee-quoting, suspender-wearing amateur. He was copying my style.

At least he had good taste. I can't blame him for wanting to be like me. I can blame him for other things though.

is the best nose in all the world. Perfect. Not only is my nose straight, and not overly-flared. The bridge had been maximized so no sleep apnemia.

God had blessed me so. Unfortunately, my hands on the other hand were a different problem.

Burned and scarred from a causeless fire, my palms were noticeably striped with shiny pink lines of scar tissue.

I no longer had fingerprints, which meant...(I gasped at the revelation of possibilities)...

that someone or something such as ghost or other creature must have made the fingerprint which looks like lond beans, or someone is trying to make us scare off the fingerprints.