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The pirate ship came sailing towards them,

  • The pirate ship came sailing towards them, tall and menacing. It didn’t need to turn broadside for them all to know that it’s guns were out and primed; and that there were a lot

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  • of unpleasant sweaty shipmates aboard. The pineapple crew braced themselves as the massive pirate ship got closer. In a few seconds, thunder would erupt from

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  • their backsides, as all that stolen curry worked it's magic. Then, as if on cue, the captain emerged from the bowels of the ship, cursing the scurvy buccaneers beneath him.

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  • Suddenly a huge whale penis tore into the hull taking the heads clean of three crew members. The whale was attempting to mate with the ship and soon the crew were coated in semen.

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  • The captain was having none of it and cried "Load the canons!". As the whale attempted to mate with the ship the seamen fired canonball after canonball into the whale's

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  • flank. Blood gushed out of the wounds, painting the sea red. "Darn!", the captain said. Succubus Whale it was not, for its blood must be like oil, thick and black, with devilry.

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  • The Devil fumed: "Captain Slayhab has seen through my chicanery once again!" He whipped Mopey-Dick into a pillar of maniacal fury: "His fake leg is made out of your Cousin Gropey!"

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  • Mopey-Dick recalled Cousin Gropey as being a tad balleen complected and that he had a predilection towards the mundane horrors of midwest farming towns farm from the orb. The Devil

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  • Mickey and Minnie the Mopes lived close by in a thatched roof cottage. The Mopes had a son who looked like famous actor Matt Damon. He even complained his parents were field mice.

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  • "Screw you, mom & dad!" shouted Matt Damon, who played their son in the made-for-TV movie, as he set fire to the roof. Fortunately the Mopes were visiting Matt's parents that day.

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1 Comments

  1. LordVacuity Jan 15 2018 @ 14:32

    I hope they didn't lose the apple trees.

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