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theres this girl named jay and she's so...

  • theres this girl named jay and she's so...

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  • ugly i wouldnt touch her with mount everest so

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  • I decided I would climb the Himilayas to get away from her. The sherpas carried my comic books, microwave, PS3, and Mountain Dew. I was prepared to get out of that basement.

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  • "The increased proximity to the Sun is working a number on my pasty skin," I thought. But the WiFi at the peak was lag-free. I turned on my PS3 and saw that IAmYeti was online.

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  • I'd been steadily haranguing @IAmYeti for weeks. I was just uploading another rip-roaring zinger when I brushed a wee clump of snow off my jacket. But it wasn't snow, it was Yeti's

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  • back hair. The Yeti was emptying his Man Groomer on the cliff above. I shouted up at the Yeti but a clump of hair went right into my mouth and

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  • I spat it out and became sick. Nothing grosses me out like teratoma. I shouted again at the Yeti of Ixchel, but now he was walking away. Infuriated at his boorish manner, I climbed

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  • atop his massive hairy shoulders, and bit his ear off, Tyson style. I could help but laugh while the Yeti screamed in pain, "Heh heh, Yeti tastes like Tyson chicken

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  • ." After that little incident, we nicknamed the Yeti "Vincent." Most people think Vincent cut off his own ear because of a broken heart, but now you know the true story. Vincent

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  • was really just a Yeti, who didn't like ears.

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