Sixteen cheerleaders stood leering at me.

Sixteen cheerleaders stood leering at me. I had miscalculated the timing of their return to the locker room and now had been caught with my pants down and a pair of panties on my

broom handle. Cleaning that room wasn't my favorite job but like my predecessor said, "Someone has to do it." I ran out without putting back on my britches and quickly found a pack

mule Stockchaser to tidy up with. "I've never operated a stick shift before," I said as I britchlessly plowed through the front porch. Momma spat up her scrapple and yelled, "

Them Duke Boys in Trouble!" then Momma ran for the moonshine and

loaded the shotgun with rock salt. "Youse get off my properties!" yelled mama. Boss Hogg smiled, "What we have har is a failure to communit..." The gun went off. "Where my boys?"

at the giant centi-beetle crawling up Boss Hogg's back. Mama fired and green and beige bile splattered everywhere, all over his nice white suit. "Spiderman!?" Boss Hogg asked.

"Yeah, it's me." Spidey scratched his armpit. "Wait -- you Hogg?" "Uh huh," Hogg confirmed. They looked at on another quizzically. "Dude, our channels collided." The General Lee

Hogg he knew didn't just "collide" with others. Something was amiss, Spidey surmised as he sniffed his finger. "Stop it," cried Hogg. "You don't know where that finger's been!"

Spidey just smiled a cool suave smile & kept his secrets to himself. He knew...oh yes, he knew alright. Hogg's innocence was terribly amusing.