Was it treason to want to steal the President's

Was it treason to want to steal the President's wife away for a romantic weekend? How much of the American military and Homeland Security would be used to ensure her chaste return?

He told himself to stop asking such stupid questions. He was the Premier of China. The fastest growing economy in the world. He wanted to bang Mrs. Obama so bad he could taste it.

Bill's wandering eye had looked everywhere. But no Chinese woman had cankles. Big hair was nonexistent. And as for blue dresses,

you'd be correct in thinking they didn't believe in blue at all. The crowd was amass with black and gray, tears and sobs, umbrellas and sorrow. The princess would be sorely missed,

depression was all the rage that day. Fashionistas were protmotiing the line of goth active wear. Yoga-Emo parlors were popping up everwhere. Famlies vacationed in Seattle. Disney

released their newest animated feature, Dracula. Van Helsing, in this version, has thick square glasses and only listened to obscure music genres, while Dracula carried around a

MacBook Pro and iPod Touch. Instead of sucking blood, he sucks the life out of the latest brands. It's set to be a crowd pleaser, but

due to a poor choice of victim, the vampire caught the Hipster Indie Virus. He was doomed to waste away in a hospital bed covered with scarves and thick-framed glasses, unless

he killed himself before that happened! Grabbing a wooden stake and rubbing it with garlic butter, he jammed it into his chest. Dying with honor was better than dying a hipster.