"Smell's funny." "It's offal." What's that?"

"Smell's funny." "It's offal." What's that?" "Sheep organs." "That's gross." "It's eat's". "No thanks." "Just try." "You first". "I'm hurt." "One bite?." "Aw, love."

nomnomnomnom. Within minutes, the sheep organs were gone, well the organs and the 6 bottles of boutique Gin that I was ordered to find. The gin made everything go down smoother.

Except for cookies from Big Bertha's Cookieland. Those things tasted like old crusty tattoos dipped in spoiled milk, and gin doesn't help those things go down any better.

I couldn't get Bertha's cookies off my mind and I'm not actually talking about her cookies ;-) I went to Big Bertha's Cookieland with a bottle of gin and an outfit sure to please

.No one would appreciate my stainless steel oven costume better than Big Bertha.She'd understand that I wanted to bake her cookies in my scorching hot oven.Big Bertha took one look

at my deluxe 36" convection rotisserie oven with magnetized infinitely adjustable racks and automatic elevation temperature adjustment and Big Bertha's cookie was cooked.

Big Bertha had served in WWI as a Howitzer. The war had taken its toll. Yes, she had success in Antwerp but now was focused on baking. A competition was

a social phenomenon where individuals fought to see who was superior to another in a given category. This category was "Heavy Chicks." Big Bertha got her name in WWI because

she was so tiny and the Germans just hated obvious, intentional irony. By sheer coincidence, the category "Heavy Chicks" appeared again in 2004, on Jeopardy, during the reign of

Ken Jennings. Nancy Zerg used to be fat. She was still a fat girl on the inside. And the rest went down in Jeopardy history. Nancy went on to become the spokesmodel for Slimfast.