And I was still,but I was under your spell,
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And I was still,but I was under your spell, when I was told by Jesus all was well. So all must be well. Just give me time. Well you know your desires and mine. So wrap my flesh in
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a tootsie roll and see how many licks it takes to get to the center. So, that he did. Wrapped in folds of caramel and chocolate, I began to feel
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around for the bed of nougat. Yesss, there it was, and aha, the telltale peanuts! He had in point of fact been reincarnated as a Snickers bar. He snickered. Of all the candies to
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be born again as, this was his secret dream. Caramel oozed sluggishly through his central cavity. He has King of the Candy Bars! But what's that? He pealed his peanut-eyes & stared
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right into the stern countenance of Jillian Michaels. "I'm gonna kick your ass, King Candy!" she shouted as she landed a sharp blow to my chocolate covered nuts. She blamed me for
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ruining her Payday. Jilian had Mounds of debt and now she was going to settle the skor. She'd kicked my thingamajig, but I blocked her watchamacallit. We decided to take 5 and
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Clusterf**k the dispute. This made it worse, in the end. The debt collectors morphed into ants crawling all over the counter. We called Kilroy The Exterminator Robot to finish them
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still believing he was the worse quarterback our high school had ever seen. He led the Golden Calfs to the slaughter 3 years in a roll. Spelling ranked behind Football at this scho
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-ol but ahead of home economics. Nobody could cook. Nobody knew how to do their laundry. But if you asked them how to spell "Bildungsroman" you'd have 30 students lined up
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outside the restrooms trying desperately to hold down their lunches. What a bunch of weenies. Why, in my day we could pass the bar and knit booties on the same afternoon. Almost.
2
- Started
- 2013-10-30 12:47:31
- Finished
- 2017-07-25 11:27:23
3 Comments
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LordVacuity Jul 25 2017 @ 13:45
I brought up the spelling because I was pretty sure it should be the Golden Calves but I felt Golden Calfs would make my allusion more clearly plus it was shorter and I still ran out of letters.
Woab Jul 25 2017 @ 16:17
You did well. You know, it has always bugged me that it's "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" instead of dwarves. Does that put me on the football team?
LordVacuity Jul 25 2017 @ 18:27
As a benchwarmer, maybe. I'm sure you get an honorable mention at the least.