Emilio had almost dozed off twice on the

Emilio had almost dozed off twice on the long straight stretch of desert highway when one of the watermelons in the flatbed ahead of him exploded causing a chain reaction

of melon explosions. Emilio tasted some of the juice that splattered on his windshield. "Hey, this is silicone. Those melons are fake!" As he pursued the melon truck, its flatbed

had KISS performing on the back of it. Emilio Estevez threw a massive thumbs up as the KISS truck did doughnuts in the parking lot. Emilio became rock and roll drunk and looked

back on this moment often as the highlight of his life. He spent several summers trying to recreate the magic with KISS cover bands behind the Mega LoMart in Barstow. Emilio ended

up in an insane asylum, unable to prevent the lyrics from "Rock and Roll All Night" from echoing continuously, and at a loud volume, in his brain. Dr. McGurdapoophalan, his

PHD now useless given that he'd been locked up in a mental institute, tried to put an end to the constant, day in day out caterwauling that came from a vocal minority of cells, but

that's what happens when you're a teacher for too long. He learned that the hard way. SIGH...and then a great idea occurred to him. He could still teach, here in the insane asylum!

Lesson plans were drawn up for bifurtification studies, since the next semester began August 19, 2028. Fifty students, each with two heads, signed up to be the first guinea pigs.

backpack sales dropped dramatically, as most of the students now had pouches, and the guinea pig students were prone to just stuff their homework into their cheeks.