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Det James Jehoshaphat Manatee threw aside

  • Det James Jehoshaphat Manatee threw aside his copy of 'The Sheik & the Impatient Virgin'. Retirement was getting boring, so when The Case of the Flowery Corpse crossed his radar he
  • grabbed his copy of "Botany: Friend" and found the crime scene. "Jane Doe wasn't the only one deflowered before her wedding," Det. Manatee quipped. He checked the asters for prints
  • and the prince for lupins, but Manatee ruled out a copycat crook. Chewing pensively on some rhododendrons, he knew you could lead a horticulture but you couldn't make her think.
  • Was it Lupinius who said "Even a small garden hoe could fell the biggest beanstalk? And wasn't asexual reproduction a type of graft? "The potency makes the poison!" exclaimed JMan
  • to Dr. J. Dr. J was tired of JMan's botanical boasting. Jay Leno said to both of them, "You guys don't have green thumbs, you are all thumbs." Jay Z was listening to all this
  • while rolling a J. Jay Z lit it, hit it, passed it to Jay Leno who passed it to Dr. J who passed it to JMan, the best half-man, half-manatee, dope-smoking private investigator in t
  • the psychedelic sea. (Shhh! This is just 1 of many of JMan's secrets...) JMan toked & passed it on to Jay Osmond (yeah, Donnie & Marie's bro!), who hit it twice & passed it to JLo,
  • seated in the lap of J Mascis. His flowing grey locks were being braided into a french bun by JWoww of Jersey Shore fame. JMan was alone in the corner, wearing a J. Crew
  • t-shirt because MTV wanted him to be hip. But J Mascis was too freakin' badass, flicked his beautiful gray bun, and started rocking out. MTV broke, JWoww left & a new era was born.
  • That day would be remembered by many. It's history, written as it was, on the walls of nightclub bathrooms like ancient hieroglyphs. Nobody would ever forget the name J Mascis.
Started
2014-04-22 04:58:12
Finished
2014-09-23 23:21:35

4 Comments

  1. Avatar

    earthquakes Sep 24 2014 @ 06:18

    J Mascis is sooooo amazing. Big fan here haha
  2. Avatar

    lucielucie Sep 24 2014 @ 13:59

    I think this was a continuation of another story but I can't remember which one.
  3. Avatar

    49erFaithful Sep 24 2014 @ 15:37

    This one? http://foldingstory.com/go6ak/fc9sii/
  4. Avatar

    lucielucie Sep 24 2014 @ 16:24

    Yes, that one. Thanks

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