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Yesterday Tom graduated from the city's grueling

  • Yesterday Tom graduated from the city's grueling 13 week Street Sweeper boot camp. In a couple of hours he will carry his new broom & dustpan to take his place on the frontlines.

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  • He was surprised to learn that part of his duties as a street sweeper included fighting zombies with his specially constructed broom & dustpan. This explain why there are so few

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  • Zombie exterminators who are street sweepers anywhere in the world. Russia was one rare exception,and the result was that their zombie population was close to zero. Their enemies

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  • loved this because Zombies have been conscripted as a secret defensive army. The only drawback is keeping them fed. Most places feed them death row prisoners but Russia

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  • decided to hand over control of their country to the zombies after all the most senior officials in president Putin's government were bitten in a freak accident.

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  • Oddly, no one was that surprised when it was revealed fifty years later that the zombies were in fact developed and financed under Putin's command. He got bitten way back in '72.

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  • Luckily for the Russians, the zombie virus didn't cause the President's manly chest to atrophy, even as the rest of his shambling corpse continued to rot. It was too powerful.

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  • But in Soviet Russia virus doesn't infect you, you infect virus. And so, instead of creating zombies, the virus mutated to infect people with russian speach and liking vodka.

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  • Once these people went back into the world, they started spreading the virus. When people were surprised by their Russian accent, they discovered that they too had such and accent

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  • . "Good lord, darlink, we sound like Boris and Natasha," remarked Aunt Mildred. "Plus, you've started putting vodka in our gin and tonics," complained Uncle Ed, but not for long.

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3 Comments

  1. Woab Jul 07 2018 @ 12:23

    Hey Lelnope! I musta picked up on your vodka vibe!

  2. Lelnope Jul 07 2018 @ 14:33

    pfff go stereotypes! :D

  3. Woab Jul 10 2018 @ 17:16

    Naw, I think I smelled it on someone's breath.

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