"Ik ben een bannan!" "No you aren't. You

"Ik ben een bannan!" "No you aren't. You are not a banana." This is the conversation I overheard at the airport and this is why I decided to learn Dutch.

I had some Dutch descendants, and it seemed intriguing. Plus, there was this really hot Dutch girl that I

was super frightened of. I would spend all day at school doing my best to hide from the Dutch girl. The heat that radiated from her was enough to melt a person's brain. Scary.

, who had mastered the power of exploding corpses, kept me after class. "Lonnie," he sighed. "We must address your deficiencies re: conductivity of light." On the board, he

had to write lines 100 times. By the end of the day Lonnie's fingers were tired and his hands were covered in white powder. The professor of necromancy

smiled and tapped his fingers on the table. "Have you learnt your lesson?" he asked. Lonnie nodded dolefully. "Good," he said. "Now I'd like you to write a hundred more lines,"

He sighed and went back to the command line. Writing lines of code in Diabolic C# used to be lots of fun but not so much lately. It still felt good when everything compiled but it

Was a tough art to practise, not to mention read. Of the high school class of 2020, just 1% could read musical script to begin with. This didn't mean they weren't musicians...

They were just illiterate. In fact, by the time 2020 rolled around, almost no one could even read normal books. But when all the phones mysteriously died, suddenly, everyone could.