An unsubstantiated rumor on the origins of

An unsubstantiated rumor on the origins of the name 'Titicaca' formed the basis for the notoriety of a little hole-in-the-wall bar on the outskirts of Mocomoco the locals called

Grandes Pezones, the best bar in Bolivia. They've served the most interesting drinks there for literally centuries. Drinks like Leche Madre, made of sweet cream, rum, & a splash of

parakeet poo, which lent the beverage a decidedly tropical zest. The Grandes Pezones was where anyone who was anyone in Bolivia hung out. I, Arturo Manchana ChaCha, got drunk there

on a few memorable occasions. I fondly recall the time when me and General Martinez got so drunk, he forgot about the Revolución the next day. He was a great man but couldnt handle

his fork and knife after a hard night of drinks. It was entertaining, watching a grown man trying feed himself with the motor skills of an under developed child. "How is this man

even a man, man. This is a job for man's man Steve McManaman. Steve flew in from Manchester to show this manchild a thing or three about how to wear a pair of testes. "Man up boy!"

The manchild gurgled and cooed. Oysterish snot pearled on his lip. His eyes were so innocent. But his chest looked like a linebackers. But his arms will short and chubby.

My ability to precisely weigh people at a glance had indeed benefited me on the boardwalks and fair midways of my youth, but here seemed utterly unhelpful. Those giant, infant han

ds just threw me off. And so did the hat. And so did the shoes. I stared at him intently for a good five minutes in silence before I just got weirded out and left.