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Ribbed, pleasure dotted or “rough rider”

  • Ribbed, pleasure dotted or “rough rider” condoms are usually billed “for her pleasure.” This phrase is a fallacy. Women are not sexually stimulated by

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  • anything but trashy novels, cigarettes with those long, affluent filters and men who ignored them. Turnoffs include nice guys, compliments and any man that isn't a complete douche

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  • because after all, if a man is assertive, it's just a sign of his overwhelming confidence, right? Who wants a wimpy so-called "nice guy" over a strapping, sexy man?

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  • She shouted at the auction. She had a variety of men for sale. She iced their nipples and shoved Tapatio up their asses so that they'd vibrate. The buyers really liked

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  • their auction catalogs which provided desperately needed blinders from the ridiculous display in front of them. The auctioneer called out

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  • Going once, going twice, sold and the BMW now belonged to a little old lady from Pasadena. The next lot was a slightly soiled oven mitt. The auctioneer

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  • considered it for a moment, before opening the auction at £100. 'This', he said, 'is the slightly soiled oven mitt of David Bowie, long lost in the backstreets of Brixton, by KFC'

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  • "no not Kentucky Fried Chicken, it was Kathy frigging Carmichael." She entered the T V show The Hoarders and while mucking out her kitchen they found the David Bowie oven mitt.

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  • Bowie's picture was so lifelike, she imagined he was singing to her. She picked up the Lady Gaga dish towel, which, while more cartoon like, actually began singing to her.

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  • Truthfully, this singing bathtowel was Lady Gaga's best marketing idea yet. "I want you psycho, your vertigo stick," right as a guy is drying off his junk? Hell yah.

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2 Comments

  1. jaw2ek Apr 05 2011 @ 11:25

    Not exactly our best, eh?

  2. ChucksterAce Apr 09 2011 @ 22:00

    I n my defense I was down with walking pneumonia. It was the 5 k version

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