It's a well covered-up fact that the black

It's a well covered-up fact that the black part of the eye is actually a small hole into the skull. Most people incorrectly think it's something called the "pupil". In actuality,

they are windows to the abyss . A photo with red eye captures the burning flame that rages. Optomitists secret mission is to keep your soul contained.

This is why the Optometrist has moved his store into Wal-Marts. To facilitate the Soul Sealing process. The store creates the right sterile oppressive atmosphere and

the masses doggishly follow the announcements. The Optometrist pays the announcer to lure the sheepish Souls into his shop where they can be Sealed appropriately. This way, the cro

magnons will pay extra for designer eyewear without having to break the fourth wall. Out of TEN, the glasses added maybe a one, but the Optometrist didn't care so long as

"But this," he crowed as he held up a yellow-spotted codpiece, "This I can pair with other things I have in my closet." Happy it was on sale, the prehistorics took their purchases

and made history. The codpiece attained immortality for its accidental but decisive contribution in a long war. Museum bound Posthistorians admired its yellow-spotted girth.

It was the same shade as the object it was designed to hide, in fact, since Emperor Uriel Septim III was known for this exact piece matching his piece exactly. It saved him from

Absolute embarrassment in the face of his people. He couldn't allow any inaccuracies, even the most insignificant, to tarnish his reputation.