Underneath all those gummy bears beat the
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Underneath all those gummy bears beat the heart of a champion, and Marsha resolved to dig it out so that she could eat all those delicious bears without getting blood on her
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favorite new blouse. Really, who would ever want to ruin such a cute top with a nasty blood stain all over it? So Marsha began digging into the gummy worms, using all her might to
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hog my spotlight. Finally I erupted, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha, everything's always about Marsha!" Everyone looked at me like I'd stepped in dog turds. Why can't they ever understand
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English? The indigenous tribes of Papua New Guinea were hard to communicate with. I tried again, slowly: "I want go. You have BOAT?" Chief Marsha pointed at her goat. Close enough.
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As I rode the wild goat through the New Guinea jungles, I heard the natives snicker behind my back. I turned and saw that they hopped into a Range Rover and drove away. This sucks.
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My ass is covered in saddle sores from wild goat riding, my hair is infested with chiggers, and I haven't had a coffee in 13 days. Meanwhile, these supposedly untouched tribes are
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walking around in T-shirts and nagging me for new batteries for their radio's. This expedition wasn't going according to plan, so, to say the least, I was in a foul mood. When a na
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tive tribesman offered to guide us to the mysterious temple in the jungle, I thought "Thank God I'll finally have somebody decent to talk to." My fellow explorers were incredibly
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unappreciative & kept ranting about it being a trap; look at their necklaces made of human teeth... The natives led us right to a temple shaped like a giant molar with a golden cap
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orbiting the massive structure. I was in awe, and found myself stepping through the arched entrance. Light enveloped my vision. I had ascended to the next life... as a dentist.
5
- Started
- 2011-07-18 01:10:26
- Finished
- 2012-07-31 20:45:08
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