I've searched the Internet, but nowhere can

I've searched the Internet, but nowhere can I find advice on how to approach a spouse to tell 'em you think their rewatching of Hellraiser movies nightly before bedtime is creepy.

The whole notion of Hell rising was anathema to his religious training. He'll was down and arranged in concentric circles, with

flames, teeth, screaming and so on. There was one oddity about this Hell, however. He hadn't bargained for the jam.

Yes, a single jar of jam that looked full, but when he reached in with a knife, to complete a nearby PB&J sandwich, it was empty--Hell indeed. He was so hungry, but didn't dare eat

just a peanut butter sandwich, are you crazy? Haven't you ever seen a dog with a wad of peanut butter in it's mouth? It's enough to make you sick. All that peanutty butter

that she had spackled on her "patch" had been lapped up by the Irish Wolfhound. The pleasure was immeasurable but now Cochise was choking on a peanut butter hair ball and

week old lubricant tendrils that had congealed and slithered out for air once the plumbing had started working. She gave her dog the Heimlich, and gobs of peanut butter hairball

fought their way into her relieved but nonetheless disgusted face. After happily ensuring Sparky's return to the living, she decided a quick wash was in order. Unfortunately,

she had an erotic fixation with loofahs, ensuring that no wash was ever quick and no gym was ever pleased with her custom. As the soft itch of the loofah glided across her taut

member, she finally became aware of her sexuality and discarded the loofah along with her prior feminine attributes. And that, kids, is why you never leave a table during a heater.