We are being changed physically from carbon-based

We are being changed physically from carbon-based being with 2 strands of DNA into crystalline beings with 1,024 strands of DNA

by chewing on the back of pencils. Those who also chew on the back of biro pens only speed up the process. New research has shown that when people spell stationery wrong

they are compulsive writing instrument chewers who turn off their spell checker so they can mark errors on their computer screen. We banished them to stationary lagrangian orbits

Where they wrote novels and had them published. One is in my hand right now! It is titled Three Roads and Their Universes. So they must be busy writing in outer space. This novel

is written in caustic acid on a material hitherto incomprehensible to human perception, not the most attractive medium for a publisher, but I was willing to work with it as long as

I got paid. War may be the mother of invention, but I felt this tortuous way to write was invented not to hide messages from our enemies as much as it was to pressure me to quit.

I stormed into the General's tent. "Sir, I will not be just a deciphering cipher!" I told him in no uncertain terms. He just blew cigar smoke in my face and told me to report to

latrine for cleaning duty. Imagine! Me, the military’s best code-cracker, being ordered to do such menial work by the general! I put the mop down after 5 minutes and decided to

take a look at cleaning a safe in my spare time, hoping no one would notice an innocent looking janitor who happened to clean up a few bucks.

I took my money laundering seriously. I used the appropriate proportions balancing out whiteness with softness/crispness. The clean bills were dried by UV light. Tradition wins.