Captain Jack Sparrow said, "My name is Jack

Captain Jack Sparrow said, "My name is Jack and I'm an alcoholic."

Blackbeard cleared his throat. "I know how ye feel, lad." he said to Jack Sparrow, "Methinks life is one big tentacle a' squeezin' me ter death." The honesty in the Pirates AA grou

p therapy led by Blackbeard intrigued Jack Sparrow. "Aye, when ye put it that way--" Jack cut off abruptly. The floor gave way, revealing a giant sea worm below waiting to swallow

him alive. Jack Sparrow gulped and jumped away, just as the sea worm lunged at him. Blackbeard yelled angrily, "Get him" as Jack ran around the deck, causing chaos and mayhem.

The sea worm crashed into the ship and Jack Sparrow's theme song plays. It's a thrill for the moviegoers after Jack pops out from the screen and runs away from a furious Blackbeard

, clutching his jar of dirt as if it's the most precious treasure he's ever plundered. The critics say that Jack Sparrow's latest silver screen appearances haven't been as

sexy as the one's before, to which he replied, "Suck it, you potato." Jack Sparrow then realized that he had transformed into an Irish stereotype, so he took his jar of dirt and

and attempted to remove the potato. But his hand got stuck in the jar of dirt with potato and he couldn't get it out. "So, this is the day we FINALLY caught Jack Sparrow!" shouted

Zheng He, a famous nautical captain of the Ming Dynasty, who would later be accredited with discovering America before Columbus. Jack Sparrow smashed the jar, potato and all, over