The high barbed wire fence and menacing guard

The high barbed wire fence and menacing guard towers belied the truth hidden behind the Police Barracks. The corps had disco fever. The chief wore a headdress and

shaped his arms into a perfect 'M'. "WHY, EM, CEE, AAAY!!!" The lone prisoner in cell block I banged his head against the bars. "This is cruel! Unusual! Arbitrary! Capricious!" The

mentally-challenged prison guard sauntered over to investigate the commotion. "I'm a Pisces myself." he said & banged the suffering prisoner's knuckles. The Village People kept on

attacking Frankenstein. They'd show up, at least once a week, waving torches and rakes. They'd shout at the monster. But Frankenstein never even came to the door.

Even when there wasn't a howling mob outside, Frankenstein's agoraphobia stopped him going out. He had the heart of Miss Madeline Margulis who never left the house after the milkma

n left her at the altar. Frankenstein needed to treat his agoraphobia, and flipped through the phonebook for a nearby life coach. Aha. Jillian Michaels. And she could get his abs

Into shape. So he dialled the number. It rang 4 times before Jillian picked up. "What do you wanntt?" He could practically smell her breathe through the phone.

"Are you drunk again?", he asked. "Drunk with what?", Jillian asked him. Then the line went dead and that was the last time they spoke. Three years later, the golden parachute was

found hanging in a tree in the woods, bleached by the sun and torn to shreds. It blew in the breeze and the little kids in town swore it was a ghost and would not go near it. Jill

the ugliest and thus most disposable child, was commissioned to go touch it. We never saw her again after that. To this day the memory of her butt-ugly face still haunts us.