The Rock was so determined not to be typecast

The Rock was so determined not to be typecast that he offered to do the Mr. Darcy role for scale. Unfortunately, the shoot did not start well. You see, Elizabeth was played by

Paris Hilton's sister, whose name nobody could remember. The rep from Jane Austin's estate smelled of tequila and misdeeds. The Rock as Mr. Darcy and Paris' sister as "Liz" should

make those deadbeats executive drool. We can make Mr. T Mr. Bennet to give it that urban flavor. George Wickham would be done by Shaya LeBeouf. This will bring MGM out of

the hands of the Axis Powers and under control of Austin Powers. At last, he

had met his match. The Axis of Evil had finally been found! So many years our finest had searched the landfills, the garbage bins, and recyle centers for the dreaded Axis of

E-Fill, the electronic waste graveyard of the damned. Where hard drives lay unwept, unsung, unloved. Our hero waded into the mercury and chromium filled cesspool and declared

his intention to run for mayor. Not a glamorous hero move, to be sure, but he had grown tired of all the mindless obligatory explosions that seemed to follow him. "I'll be a hero

of the jurisdiction of traffic!" Meanwhile, his nemisis was running for town council. He laughed, "Those nattering nabobs of negativity don't know about my wonderous turn-abouts!"

Little did he know his nemesis was his own alter ego. All went fine during the campaign. He & his "opponent" were running neck'n'neck. When they agreed to a debate the game was up.