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Sixty pounds of squirrels empirically weighs

  • Sixty pounds of squirrels empirically weighs sixty pounds, of course, but when you are freighted with the burden of knowing you have slain that many rodents in one afternoon with a

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  • pasta spoon, you feel bad, but not as bad as if you killed them with tongs, but the worse, the worse guilt comes from committing a bloodbath with a spatula because

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  • ... He didn't finish his sentence and I watched as his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell on top of me, spatula protruding grotesquely from his spinal cord. What had

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  • happened between him and Spongebob? I never knew he was capable of such a thing. And now...the sponge was nowhere to be found. Who was going to make the Krabby Patties now?!

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  • Chef john volunteered, saying he knew the secret sauce.

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  • So we started to create the most horrible smelling meal that was ever served. Even the Chef had to pinch his nose close while he was adding the dead dragon feet to the mixture.

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  • We fixed it by giving out gas masks to the arriving attendees. The Mayor's gala banquet would have gone ok, except the dragon feet decided to tap dance merrily out of the cauldron

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  • but without the dragon eyes they didn't see the minstrel that they danced to death. This caused enmity between all minstrels & all dragon parts. A fued that continues to this day.

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  • So the next time you wonder why it is that people have trouble getting along, just remember that those without dragon eyes cannot see how exhausted the minstrels are. That's heavy!

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  • So heavy in fact that most the common folks have lost their wings. It's just a matter of time until the dragon eyes are blind too. Now people need red bull and google glasses.

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8 Comments

  1. LordVacuity May 11 2017 @ 17:49

    Can I get those dragon eyes at CostCo?

  2. LordVacuity May 11 2017 @ 17:52

    dragon eyes are golden or they are alabaster seeing them meant disaster

  3. LordVacuity May 11 2017 @ 17:54

    the rowers are rowing faster and faster the winds stink of a mage caster.

  4. Rebbie May 11 2017 @ 17:57

    I need a break from my job selling plaster, All hail the wiener master! Or something like that.

  5. LordVacuity May 11 2017 @ 19:27

    If only we had a good taste taster.

  6. Woab May 12 2017 @ 10:47

    To counterpoint the cut-and-paster?

  7. LordVacuity May 12 2017 @ 11:04

    Still better than being a TP waster.

  8. Woab May 12 2017 @ 11:19

    Where'd I put the turkey baster?

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