If you're reading this, there's still time.

  • If you're reading this, there's still time. Just the fact that you haven't yet lost your sight means that they won't reach you for a few more minutes. You have time to prepare

  • In exactly 7 1/2 minutes, walk away from this computer, open a window, and scream, "Timber!". This will distract them long enough for you to run up the staircase to the 18th floor.

  • Once on that floor, go past the "Wet Floor" sign. Dodge Joe's nasty mop by diving right & rolling twice. You will be in a suite. Get up. A sniper's bullet will miss you by an inch.

  • Go to Room 627, where the best view of the city at night can be found. The offices close, some later than others, and the lights go out, one by one. The Planche Droite Cafe is good

  • if you need a place to hide the body of a potential assassination target. The staff in there are on our payroll, and generally don't speak up if a member of the agency happens to

  • leave a stiff there. They were annoyed the one time a thumb ended up in the beef stroganoff, but as long as you're a little more careful than THAT you shouldn't have a problem. Now

  • go make soup and not that bourgeois stuff that you get at 5 star restaurants. I want you to get on a masterpiece of moistness. Cream sauce and those tiny dumplings something lovely

  • like Grandma always makes. The soup has got to be simple, but not so much that your tastebuds grow tired after one spoon. The sauce has to hold your interest, which the dumplings

  • tickle into submission with promises of thriving horizons. We never knew what that was but it sounded like something we damned sure wanted. We ate the soup; even knowing what it en

  • -tailed, and then stood on the mountaintop waiting for godhood. What we got was indigestion. As we crawled back down in search of antacid we saw our foolishness for the first time.



  1. Rebbie Jul 07 2017 @ 16:35

    I love this story!!! OMG! It's Jason Bourne, James Bond, and Iron Chef in one. The ending was hilarious, no Godhood, just indigestion. Mission accomplished.

  2. Rebbie Jul 07 2017 @ 16:37

    Oh and IceSquad you get a follow out of that one ... "a sniper's bullet will miss you by an inch." Genius!

  3. Woab Jul 08 2017 @ 10:06

    I'm with Rebbie. This one is amazing.

  4. PurpleProf Jul 13 2017 @ 23:27

    Agreed! I laughed, I cried, I sat on the edge of my seat throughout the entire reading! Then I got hungry for soup. A very satisfying story!

  5. yaegs Jul 26 2017 @ 03:11

    Reading this over for the first time. A damn good story. And a damn good soup.

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