Hushed Tomes was an organization that agreed

Hushed Tomes was an organization that agreed with the premise of book burnings but believed the burnings to be a clear violation of book rights. Books can't speak for themselves.

But the rights of one book cannot infringe upon the rights of others. Incindiary talk, yes. And Picture Books need a voice, too. They cannot just be seen and not heard.

Unless they are spoken books. Or books written to give voice to the speechless. Or speeches written for the deaf. Helen Keller stopped typing her braille typewriter. Writer's blind

block had struck.Too many thoughts all at once! Helen Keller clawed her head with her hands. She had no vision for this story! Holding her head, she listened for that inner voice

but remembered she couldn't hear, because she is Helen Keller, so she just danced like Kevin Bacon in an empty warehouse. She sure can cut loose like no one is watching, well yeah,

bc even if she were performing at the SuperBowl Halftime show, how would she even know. I would have said "She always wanted to see her name in lights" but well, it's Helen Keller.

Instead, I mumbled "She always wanted to feel her name in bumps." This flew like a lead football with the Keller Foundation board. "Shut up!" the chairwoman growled. "It's halftime

therapy." The Chairwoman cackled, "Half-time therapy is a new therapeutic protocol that utilizes the time in between NFL halves to get men to heal their inner child." She pointed t

o a graph showing that men who drank beer between NFL halves tended to have inner children that were 50% more likely to have problems like bed wetting or grumpiness

. Oh, really? Obviously that study was done by women, so shut the hell up and gimme another beer. GO SAINTS! (in the background: "Wha Wha Wha Wha Wha Wha...")