A couldnae bring masel tae tell her o' aw

A couldnae bring masel tae tell her o' aw the damage the storm had caused oor wee croft. It wisnae so much the beltin rain or the howlin wind but the men that came wae it. They...

Splooge

McDuck was Scrooge's cousin and while Splooge wasn't as rich as Scrooge, his lifestyle was tits. He'd wake up

on his tittisofa and after a breakfast with Donald, go down to the local turkish bath for a titty massage. After that Splooge was relaxed enough to face to rigors of the day.

Although I still smelled of the place, no one seemed to notice - or at least they

my nose and face to rid my body of the interrogable plague. Zapping fragistically for the wappy doors, I joged water on my panicked, pale face. The cold water burned, somehow,

was it because of my severe illness or had the water been tampered with? Yikes. That's when I noticed I had the faucet set to red. I remembered what my mother taught me: "red hot,

horrible disfigurement. Blue cool, freeze nuts off." I decided to take a dirt bath with Farmer Bob's chickens, instead. As I pulled up on my Segway, Farmer Bob's daughter, Lurlene

was packing a suitcase, climbing onto a tractor, and starting off down the dirt pack. "See you in San Diego!" she yelled, waving her knickers from the back bumper as she sped off.