I have a fetish about toes. I have ever since

I have a fetish about toes. I have ever since I was born.

All I need is the air that I breathe and to love you. If only you loved me back. My toes had decided to revolt.

Where could a toe fetishist like me find any now that my own toes had run off? My rose-to-toes converter was still in the planning stages. For now, I'd acquire a taste for fingers

and cream cheese. You dab the cream cheese into the finger's knuckles and then crunch. Once you eat one you just can't stop.

Oprah's audience had fallen silent by now. Con Troll broke out into a sweat & wondered if it was something he'd said. He'd written the Troll Diet under a bridge in Cork so marketin

G was critical. Oprah was cooking a recipe from the book onstage, like the Frugal Gourmet. The Troll Stew was sampled by the audience and became the next restaurant fad. Amazing.

Amazing. Amazing. Amazing! That's what the reviews said - but the Trolls were not pleased. "What frugal about eating Troll?" Asked Oprahwindfury a particularly mean & thuggy troll

who wasn't frugal at all. Oprahwindfury looked around the clearing in the forest where the party had stopped to lick salt off the rocks & boulders that made up the ruins they were

in the process of ruining. "Stop! Not there! Don't lick there!" Oprahwindfury--who was usually rather furyless--shouted at the man running his tongue along her inner thigh. Frugal

nuns ran onto the scene, cut off the man's tongue and handed it to him. "Hold your tongue!" one demanded. Oprahwindfury had passed out. She would not have made a good nun, anyway.