Upon concluding business, Jim went to shake

Upon concluding business, Jim went to shake hands. His partner recoiled. "Sorry, I have a thing." And by thing, he meant tactile confusion. Hand sensations misfired to his genitals

causing them to split into five separate meat popsicles. Yes, his underwear would then fit like a glove, but people would stare at his bulging pants thinking he grew a second ass.

They would call him mega butt.

But his real name *Trumpets sound* *Fireworks fire* is Apple-Pie Man! A super hero who's super power is

making apple pie. He used his mom's recipe to fight crime! The police didn't know what to make of the tied-up criminals with strudel filled mouths. By day, Apple-Pie Man was

a mild-mannered baker. By night, a vicious vigilante. Apple-Pie Man's name was whispered by criminals everywhere, always with an undercurrent of fear. Crime rates dropped

in Cotton-candy Town. But the unruly "Put That Meat in Your Mouth" gang was still choking people with pepperonis despite hero Apple-Pie Man's appearance. Princes Blueberry was very

Self conscious of her size, compared to the strawberries. Her mum told her, no worry. Apple-pie Man was giving out samples of his apple pies at Whole Foods, fresh out of the oven.

Considering her mother was Gwenyth Paltrow who is thin as a stick, that was not only useless advise but false. Nobody gives their pies away for free. NOBODY. Applepie Man was up to