But what they've never heard of is Groundhog's

But what they've never heard of is Groundhog's night! The sinister gleam in his eye

hypnotized the studio execs into giving him a 9-figure budget. Michael Bay always got his way - there would be no stopping "Groundhog Night". Onto Bill Murray's house he marched,

to which Murray said "Get off my roof! I'm trying to sleep!" Michael Bay went "Oops, sorry" and jumped off Bill's house and right into his pool. If this didn't justify his 9-figure

Income from lobotomies.

My byline - Does your left hemisphere know what your right hemisphere is doing? Didn't seem to attract customers, so I changed it to

"If you cut your corpus callosum,you can access both hemispheres of your brain simultaneously!"--meaning customers would have twice the multitasking power. I performed lobotomies

at children's parties, at church and business meetings, wherever anyone would hire me to come in and have their brain divided in two for the purpose of easier multitasking.

If that didn't work, I'd prescribe a less selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, something more like an indiscriminate neurotransmitter dispersal enhancement. Most patients found

that they were not only happier but more frisky too. They were known to run around reciting cheesy romance lines from shoujo animes. Soon they began to grow anime eyes and