Mission Log Entry 1: "3 a.m. My tent collapses

Mission Log Entry 1: "3 a.m. My tent collapses again. I hope the cheap TVs will be worth it. The mother of 3 behind me gives me dirty looks. Can I trust her? Ooh, a door opens!"

But it's just the security guard checking the growing line of people waiting to buy a 40'' flat screen TV for only 99$. Can't blame him after 3 small riots, two arsons & a homicid

al maniac's brutal killing spree on aisle 3. I hurdled a few corpses and body slammed a soccer mom into a wall of Elmos. Picking up speed, I rounded the corner and saw it. The last

samurai standee. Tom Cruise's stupid face caused me to hesitate. That's when a Zombie Nun grabbed my neck and

and baptized me in a river of running sewage caused by the nuclear power plant explosion. I was almost out of breath when I saw through the waste water a purple haze tackle the Nu

a Genie. "Hey boys!" he said in a voice that did sound oddly like Robin Williams. "Do all of you sound like Robin Williams?" I asked. "Of course not, honey!", said the purple cloud

y-eyed celebrity imposter."Sometimes I like to do 'Cher' & 'Elvis' is always a crowd favorite." Then he added mischieviously,batting his Robin Williams eyelashes, "Who do you want

, baby?" Cher and Elvis back away from the freaky Robin Williams-eyed seducer, glancing at each other before turning and making a run for it. The seducer behind them cried out like

a frenzied Sasquatch in heat, and startlingly, it worked. Cher and Elvis returned to their seducer and started mating, slowly at first, but increasingly more loud and inexplicably