Running toward me was the most adorable Labrador

Running toward me was the most adorable Labrador i had ever seen.

Applied the handbrake. Switched on the hazards. Phoned for help: "What seems to be the problem, sir?" "HELP ME!" I cried, the wolf was now nearly

inside the car. The back window was good and smashed, the spiderweb cracks covered in saliva and blood from the impact of the horrible creature's muzzle.

The creature itself had vanished for the moment, but I could hear it's thin, rasping breath from somewhere in the shadows at the edge of the road. It was wounded, but not fatally.

"Do you need a first aid kit?' I called into the darkness by the road. "Yes, thank you," replied the piteous voice of the creature. Not daring to get too close, I tossed the kit

in the direction of the voice. "No, behind you!" the sad creature replied. I turned but then realized my mistake. "GOTCHA!" I felt cold,slimy arms grasp me. "You are forever MINE!"

Then light flooded our eyes. When mine adjusted everyone yelled, "Surprise!" And I saw my best friend from college wearing slimy costumed tentacles. laughing his arse off and all m

y friends laughed too. My best friend had ordered that slimy costumed tentacles from RentACostume. Those tentacles reminded me of something. Ah yes,

it reminded me of myself. I wrapped one of my tentacles around my best friend's face, where -- inconveniently for him -- all his spiracles were located. I let him live, but still.