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"Well," I said, getting comfortable on the

  • "Well," I said, getting comfortable on the couch, "my problems seem to stem from the fact that I'm sexually attracted to garden gnomes." "I see," said Dr. Klumpf, scrolling

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  • through messages on his iPhone. "Yes, that's been going around. And how would you describe your relationship with your mother?" I heard a bleep bloop from Dr. Klumpf's phone. "Are

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  • there vultures eating the carcass of a dead hobo at your house, too?" I shouted, "WHAT!?!?" Dr. Klumpf said, "Nevermind that, this is serious. I need your mother's credit history

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  • read aloud to me -- LOUDLY -- by a scantily clad Claudia Cardinale." "Circa 1963?" I asked. "No," Klumpf replied. "At her current age." I shrugged. "It's your dime." Claudia was

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  • Always dressed like that proverbial Marchioness of Thor who seduces evrryone at first sight. Even Martians loved to watch her in the kitchen, mixing elixirs.

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  • It threatened to be the downfall of the Martians:they were seduced by mixed elixirs of the mistresses of Thor. They'd wake up with a hangover like Thor had hammered on their skulls

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  • The hammered Martian skulls, however, had learned from Thor's beating and grew stronger and smarter for the next time. They always insisted on a next time. Thor knew that as well.

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  • Thor also knew that the colossal hangovers that the martians would suffer from getting hammered would keep them from retaliating right away. This gave him time to rig a trap for

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  • the Martians. Thor rigged a box-and-stick trap, the kind Elmer Fudd set to try and capture Bugs Bunny. The trap sucked, and the Martians didn’t like the bait either, which was

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  • quite a disadvantage, because Bugs Bunny escaped and the box-and-stick trap didn't really work at all. And so ends the tale of the sucky traps and Bugs Bunny.

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1 Comments

  1. Jail_Rose Apr 28 2018 @ 05:16

    Well, that escalated pretty quick.

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