They say they can't take it with you... so

They say they can't take it with you... so I had it bronzed.

"It," was a fifty dollar bill and the bronzing add sufficient weight, not to mention TSA agents were always stopping me in line and asking, "are you really taking that with you?"

"No, I'm just carrying it around the airport for fun," I once replied to a humorless TSA agent. "You need to check it or do a full-body search& rub down." Oh, a massage! Will you

be charging extra for a facial mask?" I replied cheekly to the TSA agent. Obviously, he didnt find any humor in it. "Yes, that would be about 10 extra," He replied. 10 dollars! Tha

t's a bargain!" I slipped a Hamilton in his pocket. Maybe this airport-security-spa wasn't so bad, I thought as the TSA agent rubbed lavender massage oil on my shoulders. For once,

I was going to be lubed before they started the full cavity search. I liked my odds in that scenario. I leaned into my role. “We’re not doing roles. We’re doing our job,” the TSA a

huddled together to discuss my sheepish suggestion. Finally the ringleader approached me & replied (testily). "We've reconsidered. You said you had 3 bags full? We want them all!"

I handed over all 3 bags, bleated a retreat, & spied from behind a fence as narcs surrounded the gang. 2 of the bags were ok, but the little boy down the lane was using, so HIS bag

was underweight. Damn it, I was caught for sure. The narcs cornered me, and I bleated - The bag is worsted. They bought it. And that's how I pulled the wool for the last time.