The light flashed on his answering machine.

The light flashed on his answering machine. He stood next to it, wishing he could listen to the messages, but those times were gone. Beside it was a list of songs after his euology

was booed by the funeral attendants. He had spent all night writing it, a formula that worked in college. He had no idea that the crowd would turn on him. All he had said was

that the deceased would certainly smell better in death than in life. This was meant to elicit laughter, not the hail of rocks & shoes that the funeral attendants launched at his

flailing arms. He dodged the projectiles and begged the bare-footed throng for compassion. When the outrage subsided, he placed a rose in the button-hole of the corpse's tuxedo.

He looked around at the displeased faces looking in on him, like a massive zombie horde barely held at bay. He looked back at the pale flesh as a tear fell down his cheek.

not sure what to do, he began to sob like a baby, hoping that this would wake his mommy from her evil slumber. When the first mate took notice,

he immediately ripped the parrot off his captains shoulder & slammed it in his mouth to muffle the sobbing. The first mate used his knot skills to tie a

treasure chest to the end of a stick. The first mate then put the stick on the captain's hat, motivating his fatass to exercise. The parrot angrily burst out of the captain's mouth

cavity, filling the air with sound. He name was Ginger Vitus. "I've flossed my tail feathers, she shrieked, The Captain chewed on that for a bit, then braced himself for

a flogging from Ms. Vitus. The Captain would not have his Tenille in Ginger Vitus, as Ms. Vitus had the breath of Muskrat Love.