Dont leave me. She pleaded. Please. Stay

  • Dont leave me. She pleaded. Please. Stay with me. She begged me. But i had to leave her. I'm sorry. I said. I really was. But what other choice did i have? Carli had said

  • the "Your so vain," farewell tour started two weeks ago and she really needed a percussionist with my kind of cowbell technique. Touring with a washed-up singer or true love. There

  • was just something about her singing that shot right through to my heart. But here I was, stuck behind the drum kit. No one ever notices the drummer, except of course

  • when he spontaneously combusts. But I wasn't that desperate yet. I decided to get he attention by inserting a spontaneous drum solo into her a capella performance of

  • ice cream and brad pitt's spit.

  • Helga sighed heavily as she cleaned up the aftermath of another Hollywood party. She never would have guessed that Brad Pitt was such a drooler, or that Angelina was actually a

  • man. Helga knew that her life as a maid in Hollywood would be short lived but it was only temporary til she was discovered and hit the big time. She longed to see HELGA in lights--

  • no matter what she had to do to get there. So during the day she was a mild mannered maid, but at night, to pursue fame and money, HELGA was a vigilante crime fighter, using her

  • ample Viking bosoms as a sort of Trojan horse that distracted miscreants, enabling her to use her feather duster to incapacitate. HELGA's french maid outfit barely contained

  • the arsenal of ninja weaponry. Commando maids had infiltrated the Junta at all of the dictator's palaces. At Midnight, they cleaned house.



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