I would feel better if the knife butchering

I would feel better if the knife butchering me was worth more. I know you got it from the bargain shelf, because you can't afford to spend a mere $1000 for a diamond encrusted one.

And also plastic just isn't cutting it. HAHAHAHAHAH *hicup* oooh excuse me. HAHAHAHAHA! I made a funny. No really, here's a dollar get a better knife for the sake of jesus christ!

" he said as he stumbled around crashing into his fellow partygoers.He haphazardly shoved a wad of cash into the hands of a young boy with the request of buying silverware. "Weird

Al should be here any minute," he said. "So go get the silverware now. I said NOW!" The boy ran off, confused but obedient. Weird Al's limo pulled up to the party & 10,000

head lice found themselves whisked to the podium in middle of our backyard. Al's performance rocked, but the lion he let loose for "Like a Surgeon" was overkill. It chased the kids

towards the Houses of parliament where they crashed into Boris Johnson as he was making out with Donald Trump. Donald turned to them and

grabbed Boris's Johnson & grabbed him by the pussy too. Johnson's gasp was not about Trump's actions but that those actions had just divulged State Secrets & that was an Act of War

against Artie Johnson and all cats everywhere that didn't like being handled. Boris and Artie decided to offer sanctuary for sensitive felines in their treehouse on Maple Avenue.

Sophie, Nancy and Cosmo went there for dinner and had fresh tuna. Now I have to make it daily for them. The waiter was a Siamese named Taipan. She gave me the recipe.

"Tuna salad, hold the mayo." Dinner was served on a silver tray; tufts of fur dotted the tuna. "The cat hair's a garnish," the Siamese waiter winked. "Free of charge."