As i sat on the toilet pushing for dear life,

As i sat on the toilet pushing for dear life, the thought occurred to me that I might never go. the pressure could be too much for my bowels! "I can't die, not like this, not now!"

But I did anyway. As I entered the gates of hell, I was greeted by Beelzebozo, the devil's clown. He asked me to become his hairdresser. I wish I had declined, because then he

exposed his rich clown-core of molten riboflavin, which he fingered like a pervert while telling me how much he'd like it if I smiled right now -- but I refused to smile.

"Oh, we have a stubborn one here, don't we?" said Jitters, manically twisting the squirting flower in his chest pocket. He honked his red nose, and instantly the room filled with

an infinite number of tiny red cars carrying an infinite number of clowns honking simultaneously. The resulting black hole, after eons of silence, gave birth to an universe that

was filled with jew-hating cartoons that sang about the odd of things. Tht universe was named "Disney" By a man named Walt. The scientists of earth televised that universe, and

the nation was led by a duck in bad fitting trousers. Goofy never really had a role, but had he ever? The other quirky thing about this universe was

was the fairest of them all except for that girl who hung around with dwarves. It was a boost to his self-confidence. He bought beef shares low and daytraded for magic beans.

Despite Scott Trade's patented "interactive learning center" he lost his shirt. So he moved back in with grandma without noticing how big her eyes and teeth were. The end.