30

As i sat on the toilet pushing for dear life,

  • As i sat on the toilet pushing for dear life, the thought occurred to me that I might never go. the pressure could be too much for my bowels! "I can't die, not like this, not now!"

    4
  • But I did anyway. As I entered the gates of hell, I was greeted by Beelzebozo, the devil's clown. He asked me to become his hairdresser. I wish I had declined, because then he

    3
  • exposed his rich clown-core of molten riboflavin, which he fingered like a pervert while telling me how much he'd like it if I smiled right now -- but I refused to smile.

    3
  • "Oh, we have a stubborn one here, don't we?" said Jitters, manically twisting the squirting flower in his chest pocket. He honked his red nose, and instantly the room filled with

    3
  • an infinite number of tiny red cars carrying an infinite number of clowns honking simultaneously. The resulting black hole, after eons of silence, gave birth to an universe that

    2
  • was filled with jew-hating cartoons that sang about the odd of things. Tht universe was named "Disney" By a man named Walt. The scientists of earth televised that universe, and

    1
  • the nation was led by a duck in bad fitting trousers. Goofy never really had a role, but had he ever? The other quirky thing about this universe was

    3
  • the nagging crickets. The didn't chirp, but danced around warning you about playing with matches and the like. His only friend, the Magic Mirror, proposed that he

    3
  • was the fairest of them all except for that girl who hung around with dwarves. It was a boost to his self-confidence. He bought beef shares low and daytraded for magic beans.

    3
  • Despite Scott Trade's patented "interactive learning center" he lost his shirt. So he moved back in with grandma without noticing how big her eyes and teeth were. The end.

    5

0 Comments

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!