A bores head in the confectionery. News at

A bores head in the confectionery. News at twelve. Sally looked up from her ironing at the TV. The severed head lay on a Schwarzwald Tort. It was a moment she never forgot

even though the rest of her memory had been destroyed by inhaling mercury fumes. The iron, the tv, she could not remember, but the Boar's head on the pastry. That was her only

reference point. In her dim, mercury-addled mind the Boar's head on the pastry would loom into view. She tried to see what room it was in. It was a smoky tavern with..Danish elves?

The elves sat at their own table, speaking Elvish, which was one of the most ancient tongues on the planet called Ceres. They were eating cherry pie.

God and this congregation the Head Elf married the Head Maid and all the other elves and maids spit cherry stones at them as they left the Elvin Church. They were covered with

spittle and cherry stains but, with this Elvin blessing how could they go wrong? The answer is simple. First their ride broke down. Then orcs attacked. And then they were taken to

return a bad Christmas gift on the day after Christmas in Laredo, Texas in a department store that even though it is 98 degrees out does not have the AC on because it was 33 this m

orning, showing you how screwy department stores in Laredo can be. As I wiped sweat from my brow, I stood in the line marked “Returns.” The baby elephant I was returning stood

beside me, her trunk wrapped around my hand. She trumpeted softly and looked at me with baby doll eyes. I sighed. I couldn't return her! We exited the department store together.