"Because, life is oh so beautiful!" Cassidy

"Because, life is oh so beautiful!" Cassidy finished her poem and I shot her.

With a Nerf gun of course.

pump action my supersquirter and soak Susie Perkins wearing Paul Exline's hoodie. Hahaha. That'll teach them to kiss behind the schoolhouse

rock where fraternity boys pissed away a thousand and one nights of benders, its urea soaked surface quietly radiating a nose's smorgasbord of histories. Hauling up my supersquirt,

doused the entire thing with super-strength Febreeze, then sat my blindfolded in-laws on it. They complimented my homemaking skills then fumbled around in front of them looking fo

R the exit. The doors were being fixed by Mr. Carpenter himself. They had expanded during the heat of summer and needed to be shaved at the bottom, about two inches. The crowd grew

as the doors began to open, and everyone went about their day to their next destination. Each on was handed a bottle of water.

If these bottles were laid end to end, they would circle the earth 3 times. Instead, they ended up in the Pacific garbage gyre, forming patterns like Nigella damascena flowers.