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The creature unfurled it's tentacles towards

  • The creature unfurled it's tentacles towards the remaining crew members and bloated forth a hissing so painful that one of the men fell to hia knees and shed a single tear before

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  • Nicole Richie's "Vaginal Kraken" feasted on their flesh, Adam made the mistake of looking right into it's eye, and he thought of the Sarlacc Pit. He wanted to live so

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  • he had no choice but to unzip and release the Anaconda. The mammoth trouser snake attacked the Vaginal Kraken and there was much crying and gnashing of teeth. After 40 days and 40

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  • nights Hercules couldn't take it anymore. Trying to sleep in this den of iniquity was hopeless. He took out his cimitar and chopped of the wailing heads. The cacophany subsided.

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  • Then he felt lonely. Still daydreaming about pancakes (if you can even daydream at night), Hercules got up and ransacked an IHOP and sat down to a god-sized platter of pancakes

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  • after killing the cooks he made more pancakes. using the biggest pan he could find to made one big pancake. When he tried to flip it he hit himself forehead. Hercules died hungry

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  • and lonely. Years later, Hercules' evil twin would remember this event as the day that

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  • he became Jerkules, Hercules's arch nemesis. He mounted Gregasus, his noble steed, and set off to find Billoctetes, the trainer of mythical Roman anti-heroes.

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  • I found him at the Collosseum where he was busy humilliating gladiators. 'You're not supposed to win, you morons!' he screamed at them. Yep, that was Billoctetes all right. I took

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  • him by the hand and dragged him out of there. The gladiators cheered as we left the building. They then went back to knitting their loincloths.

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