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I was in the study mixing another cocktail.

  • I was in the study mixing another cocktail. The crank calls never stopped, even years after my role as Swiper on the telenovela "Dora the Explorer". I wasn't much of a drinker,

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  • but courage in a solid or gaseous state wouldn't do the trick. I had a part in the upcoming low-budget flick, "The Fox and the Bound." I swiped a motivational DVD and popped it in:

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  • "The Simmonator" wasn't one of Richard's better known exercise videos. But he was wearing yoga pants and that infectious enthusiasm "Work those buns, fellas!" got to me. When my Ex

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  • plosive Buns video came out, it finally put Richard Simmons in his place. What I lacked in infectious enthusiasm I made up with my secret Power Yoga™ technique

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  • babble. My deficit was not having enough phonied up jargon to make my exercise business seem like a movement. Richard Simmons came back in a huge way with "Yoga-ing To The Oldies

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  • " and Curves had their whole "30-minute fitness" for women, all I had was a George Foreman, a tin building, and a few weights. But, I also had the magic beans. Question was how to

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  • translate them into an A1 fitness bizness plan. I threw them on the floor. Next morning my George Foreman was solid gold, my tin shed a marble palace & the weights were pink swans

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  • It was all so beautiful! I almost felt like I should kiss the contractor right smack on the lips, but that might've just been the hormones talking. But now, I'm going to relish it.

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  • I had just dyed my hair red and it was a spur of the moment thing. The cat sat on my lap and so what if I was folding stories this late at night? I didnt care, it beat getting

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  • syphilis or arrested or buried alive or the crap beat out of me. Don't you agree, Fuzzy? Yes you do! Not on the laptop, Fuzzl;i89nyhnt6zse34xczV NNJ ATTENTION MERE HUMANS I AM FROM

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10 Comments

  1. Gibber Mar 19 2016 @ 14:44

    THE PLANET KITTY-POO. You have already been invaded by my fuzzy minions. Do not be alarmed. Feed us, allow us to sit on your laptops, and you will not be harmed. Oppose us and you will be destroyed.

  2. Dhanithecat Mar 19 2016 @ 14:58

    Your writng is wonderful!

  3. Gibber Mar 19 2016 @ 15:44

    I appreciate your comment, but my writing is merely adequate for my fuzzy purposes. Perhaps you are in awe of my feline superiority. Exhibit this attitude toward your feline overlords and your continued existence may be more than tenuous.

  4. Dhanithecat Mar 19 2016 @ 15:59

    You have a healthy sense of humour.

  5. SlimWhitman Mar 19 2016 @ 17:26

    If it were Pawsible I'd like your comments o' fuzzy one, You are welcome to lounge on my prewarmed laptop. My work/folding is secondary to your comfort.

  6. Gibber Mar 19 2016 @ 18:21

    Purrrrrrr

  7. SlimWhitman Mar 19 2016 @ 19:02

    I bring humble offerings for the softpadded overlords: Richard on the Holodeck http://foldingstory.com/89nmf/ Rambo repents http://foldingstory.com/zbonl/ Spicy Peewee http://foldingstory.com/8asdn/ The Foldaroo http://foldingstory.com/n92lo/

  8. KnoppferHang Mar 20 2016 @ 04:57

    Oh no! Feline overlords from a foreign planet are invading the Earth! My only chance of survival is to either copulate with one of their kind by asking their Leader's hand in marriage or make a FoldingStory in dedication to their existence! But which one to do...

  9. Gibber Mar 20 2016 @ 10:25

    I would be pleased to have Richard Simmons and Peewee Herman processed into tasty bite sized morsels, crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside. Distribute them to the human servants of my minions in 3.5oz packets. Then notify your world leaders to report to their nearest cat food processing facility to await further instructions.

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