Once upon a time, there was a frog, and he

Once upon a time, there was a frog, and he had a wart.

The wart was just above the frogs eye. Frogs don't usually have warts, that's toads, so the wart was lonely. So was the frog. He was ugly as frogs go. Even pigs wouldn't associate

Mr Toad of Toad Hall invited him to go punting on the Thames but after Mr Toad had a minor road accident, Mr Toad impulsively decided to change the activity to hot air ballooning.

Due to his hangup on formality, Mr. Toad lost more friends than most people ever gain. He only read the New York Times and attended city hall meetings assuming Robert's Rules were

strict. Mr. Toad decided find like-minded people on Craigslist.com. Instead, he found an old couch. For some reason, this couch made him feel wanted; loved. He

didn't know that the couch could talk. "Well, hello handsome." Mr. Toad almost jumped out his warty skin when he heard it speak. The couch then said,

"I have a magical task for you friend!" Mr. Toad couldn't believe his warty ears. "I thought sofas couldn't talk." "Excuse me, but the accepted vernacular is COUCH!" Said the

sofa. "But," Mr Toad said, "even the writer claims you're a sofa." "Whatever, just listen to me," the sofa said. "The toad princess was cursed and turned into a human. You need to

smack her right on the lips to turn her back into a beautiful toad again. "No way!" the princess shouted. "Being a human is a great gig! Did you know they actually REMOVE warts?"